check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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