I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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