Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
