Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
