I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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