'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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