i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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