i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
