Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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