We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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