He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
