the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I need to stop coming to work sober
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
