Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
