Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
