you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
