if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
