What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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porn star boner night. come get it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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