lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He better not be in your backpack
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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