He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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