Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
