I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
