Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My feet surprised me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
