If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
