By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she looked like the before picture.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
