My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
there is glitter all over my balls
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
