the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
