How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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