Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
