Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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