just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
