And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
