I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
