if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
