And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
