hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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