some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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