i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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