i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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