You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
