aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
