And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
