At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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