my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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