i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
