How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
