bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
