Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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