seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
