So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
