I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
